Alas, our favourite fantasy show’s second season has come to an end and brought with it a whole lot of twists and turns and god killing. It also introduced some exciting storylines for season three and we’re already anticipating the premiere to find out just where those storylines lead. We likely won’t be able to predict much since The Magicians consistently does an excellent job of surprising and shocking and gasping its loyal viewers. Episode 13 of Season Two did wrap up some unpredictable plot points though which was satisfying to witness and it managed to reunite a few lovers and friends whose relationships had been severed. So, what were the most memorable/intriguing/hilarious/sensual moments of the hour? Well, there was...
Eliot helping a very sad Julia get off the couch
Last week Julia’s shade was returned to her as a thank you gift from Persephone aka Reynard’s mother for not shooting her son dead and as a result Julia was going through a real rough time. She was experiencing brutal flashbacks of her traumatic assault and smoking and drinking weren’t making it go away. When Eliot drops by to get that god-hiding amulet from her, he sees that she’s in pain and asks that she come along with him to Fillory and help him take out Ember before he takes out the entire magical world. It’s a touching moment and although Julia did betray the High King (which she reminds him of) he notes that it’s in the past. Aw, friend reunion!
Kady and Penny saying hi and then saying bye right away
Speaking of reunions Kady and Penny have a brief one after he leaves the hospital when he’s informed that he potentially only has a few weeks to live. Kady’s got her own post-Reynard problems in the form of doing drugs again and Penny is concerned. She’s more concerned about him though since he’s well, you know, dying. Sadly, they don’t have time to heal their sorrow through sex because that damn librarian teleports him back to work. Kady isn’t happy about this and wishes that he could call in sick, but before she knows it, they’re separated, leaving us to wonder if they’ll ever smooch again and if Penny will even make it to season three.
That chill Fairy Queen bathing in milk
We finally get a peek into this much talked about fairy land and wow, is it real pretty. The whole Fillory castle is covered in gorgeous veins and flowers and although there is a dark, eerie vibe cast across the realm, there’s also a cool, terrifying queen that seems to enjoy dips in tubs of milk. Now the question is: is that milk 2%, whole, almond or coconut? We guess vanilla almond.
Margo wearing a stylish eyepatch
And in order to depart from the fairy world Margo unfortunately has to make a rather giant sacrifice. The fairies really like their human body parts and if you wanna cross the border back into Fillory you gotta hand one of yours over. In Margo’s case she had to donate one of her eyes. Yeah, not a great deal for her. Fen eventually escapes by just tossing the fairies a few toes which is WAY more fair. Who needs toes THAT much really? But AN EYE? You kind of need eyes for everything. She has another one but still. The only plus is that now we get to see Margo wear a series of fashionable, bejeweled, shiny, expensive designer eyepatches. So chic.
Eliot and the King of Loria making out hardcore
Once Eliot has made his way back to Fillory after Ember banished him and his once upon a time soon to be husband Idri, the King of Loria, is a human again and no later a rat, the pair of attractive lovers can share in an attractive intimate exchange. They do some erotic kissing that got the audience’s blood flowing for sure. We kind of wanted them to progress further but we also understand that Eliot was dealing with some stuff. Like saving Fillory from total destruction.
Quentin and Umber going to the land formerly known as Cuba
Speaking of saving Fillory from total destruction, Quentin attempted to lend a helping hand in that area as well. While Eliot was luring Ember to the castle, Quentin was luring his brother Umber, who we learned isn’t dead and lives in Vancouver, into trying to stop Ember from creating world-ending chaos. Umber isn’t too interested in anything involving his brother and refuses to return to Fillory. He does like sweet Quentin though and invites him to instead join the god on a trip to his new project: The pocket world formerly known as Cuba. Although getting to check out the modern land is awesome, it gets awkward when Quentin has to inform Umber that the place is a tad bland and unimaginative. Looks like Umber needs his bro to spice things up.
Eliot and Margo throwing the most timid orgy ever
And unbeknownst to Umber, both he and Quentin were transported to Fillory by care of Julia getting a hold of that pocket world snow globe from Umber’s house. Before they arrived, Ember made an appearance at the castle because Eliot and Margo had some tasty little cakes for him to consume and threw a polite sex party in his honour. It was an adorable tiny gathering.
Quentin sticking a sword through a surprised Ember
One of the most dramatic minutes in this episode came when Ember was vanquished via being stabbed with a sick sword. Julia enchants a sword with god-killing power and baits the horned powerhouse until he starts to choke her. Although we were worried about this development at first we quickly learned that this was exactly the plan. As Julia distracts Ember, Quentin used some magic to take control of the weapon and saved the day in the most hero-ey way ever. We didn’t how know this was gonna play out or even if it would so it was a pleasant twist. Even Ember, who died with a smile on his face, was impressed by Quentin’s unpredictability.
Alice and Quentin eating bacon and having sex
Then our hero returned to Earth and celebrated his successful day by sharing a plate of breakfast meat with human-Niffin Alice, who up until then in the episode was not a fan of Q and seemed rather annoyed by him every time they interacted. But, when he came bearing bacon her attitude shifted drastically and of course since bacon is such a sexy food she naturally got horny as well and wanted a bit of action which was VERY lovely and exciting and beautiful to see. Nothing like naked Alice and naked Quentin holding each other in bed. Ah, MY HEART!
Ember’s parents sending in a plumber to take all of the magic away
But, in typical Magicians fashion, that sweet scene ended on a tragic note. Alice informed Quentin that there are serious consequences to killing a god and that Ember’s parents aka the creators of the universe, are probably not pleased to discover that two of their sons are dead. She predicted that they would punish the children of Earth by removing all magic from the planet and from fillory and she was bang on. They did exactly that but they didn’t do it themselves obviously. They’re important people and have a busy schedule. They sent in a silent plumber who casually strolled into a Brakebills castle, opened a floating box and used a wrench to cut that magic off. He did the same in Fillory and grinned the entire time. At least he was polite?
Joseph the Niffin visiting Alice to warn her of another big bad guy arriving soon
Then we cut to two months later and it’s confirmed that magic is gone and they don’t know if it’s coming back. Alice was especially upset and her bad year continued when she was visited by creepy niffin Joseph. Apparently when Alice was a naughty Niffin she broke rules, sinned a bunch, and murdered as well. Joseph dropped by to give her a warning. Someone/something is coming after Alice for revenge since she well, killed his family. Whoever/whatever it is, they are PISSED and we predict that this character will be the main villain of season three. Woo!
Julia showing a hint of magic left inside of her
BUT WAIT! NOT ALL HOPE IS LOST! The season ends on a potentially positive note. As Julia and Quentin chill outside Brakebills, Q’s childhood bestie lets him in on a fiery secret. Julia’s got a teeny bit of magic left in her and proves so when her fingers shoot a couple sparks. Quentin is thrilled but confused and so is Julia and so are we. Can’t wait for season three to enlighten us.