Weekend Movies: Holiday Weekend! (For Most Of Us)

Alberta, Ontario, and Saskatchewan call it ‘Family Day Weekend.’ Manitoba prefers ‘Louis Riel Day,’ while P.E.I. opts for ‘Islander Day.’ As for the rest of the country, well, uh... Hey look, here’s some shiny movies!

 

Phew – that almost got awkward.

 

Lies & Whispers – Friday, Feb 15, 8pm ET/PT

The Heartbreak Kid – Friday, Feb 15, 11:15pm, plus Saturday, Feb 16, 3am ET/PT

Iron Man 2– Saturday, Feb 16, 10:30am, 3:30pm, and 10pm ET/PT

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time – Saturday, Feb 16, 1pm, plus Sunday, Feb 17, 12:30am ET/PT

Force of Impact – Saturday, Feb 16, 6pm ET/PT

Recoil (MOW) – Saturday, Feb 16, 8pm ET/PT

X-Men: The Last Stand – Sunday, Feb 17, 3am and 1pm ET/PT

TRON: Legacy – Sunday, Feb 17, 3:30pm ET/PT

Arctic Blast – Sunday, Feb 17, 6pm ET/PT

 

Lies & Whispers

The cast: Gina Gershon, Rade Serbedzija

The Showcase synopsis: “When Dr. Lauren Graham investigate her Slavic roots in Prague, she uncovers shocking family secrets that threaten her new relationship with Czech dissident Jiri Kolmar.”

 

This film’s original title was Prague Duet, which we can all agree is the worst thing ever. But as the old adage goes, “you can’t judge a book by the cover it used to have before the publisher smartened up and eventually gave it a way less crappy cover.” I think Benjamin Franklin coined that. Point being, this is a taut, compelling drama that explores the timeless biblical saying, “The sins of the father are visited upon the son, only, uh, replace ‘father’ with ‘grandfather’ and ‘son’ with ‘Gina Gershon.’” That’s Deuteronomy 5:9 right there, dude.

 

Not a promotional still from the film -- but damn, girl.

 

The Heartbreak Kid

The cast: Ben Stiller, Michelle Monaghan, Malin Akerman

The Showcase synopsis: A newlywed man who believes he's just gotten hitched to the perfect woman soon discovers they’re the furthest thing from a good fit.

 

It’s the Farrelly Brothers doing what they do best: giving Ben Stiller the gears! And this time around, he’s a poor schlub whose fairytale wedding quickly turns into a Grimms’ fairytale wedding. Hey, it’s happened to the best of us, right? This is why you should never marry anyone until you’ve spent a solid 30 to 40 years instant messaging each other first. Free post-Valentine’s Day tip from me to you!

 

This happened to me in the Mediterranean when I was 12. I made that same face until a week ago.

 

Iron Man 2

The cast: Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Gwyneth Paltrow

The Showcase synopsis: “Now the world knows billionaire inventor Tony Stark is Iron Man, he's under pressure from the government, the press and the public to share his technology with the military.”

 

Superheroes tend to fall into two categories. There are those who live double lives, working tirelessly to preserve their secret identities (Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, et al). And there are those who only go by their superhero names, ‘cause crime fighting is pretty much their only gig (Silver Surfer, The Punisher, Wolverine). As for Iron Man? He’s all like, “nuts to that biz!” Outside the suit, he’s charmingly eccentric industrialist Tony Stark, and brother don’t give a crap who knows it.

 

Iron Man faces his deadliest rival yet: the number 2.

 

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

The cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley

The Showcase synopsis: " A young fugitive prince and princess must stop a villain who unknowingly threatens to destroy the world with a special dagger that enables magic sand inside to reverse time."

 

Any film featuring Sir Ben Kingsley (I’m assuming he’s knighted) automatically gets a minimum three-star rating. That’s an empirical fact. Add a Gyllenhaal sibling into the mix? That number has nowhere to go but up. Toss in some sweeping landscapes, an epic storyline, and cutting-edge CGI? I’m no mathologist, but this here may very well be a six-star movie.

 

On the left: the Sands Hotel & Casino of Time.

 

X-Men: The Last Stand

The cast: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry

The Showcase synopsis: When a cure is found to treat mutations, lines are drawn amongst the X-Men and the Brotherhood, a band of powerful mutants organized under the nefarious Magneto.”

 

A cure for mutancy? Not on MY watch, mister! X-Men, do your thing!

 

Mutant or not, it’s good to touch up the ol’ roots on occasion.

 

TRON: Legacy

The cast: Jeff Bridges, Garrett Hedlund, Olivia Wilde

The Showcase synopsis: “As Sam Flynn searches for his long-lost father, he finds himself pulled into the digital world of TRON. Together, the two men must embark on a life-and-death journey of escape across a visually-stunning cyber universe.”

 

Not unlike Mr. Dr. Sir Ben Kingsley, Jeff Bridges is an immediate asset to any film he’s in. The man’s got presence, or gravitas, or moxie or something. A certain je-ne-c’est-quoi though, to be sure – we can all agree on that. Personally, I hope there are ten more TRON movies, and J.B.’s there to rock ‘em all. Maybe get J.J. Abrams on board – the guy’s already locked down Star Trek and Star Wars. This would round out the trifecta nicely. Better yet, let’s have one singular crossover film that combines all three franchises! Okay, I’d better cut this short -- I’m spouting out way too many AWESOME ideas.

 

 

The (TRON) Dude abides.