In episodic television, titles have a storied legacy.

Sometimes, they'll follow a particular pattern—take Friends, for example, with its 10 seasons' worth of episode titles starting with “The One with…” and “The One where…” Or consider Marc Cherry, who uses Stephen Sondheim lyrics to name all episodes of Desperate Housewives. Clever examples abound, but at their most literal, episode titles will give viewers a thematic preview of what's to come. Such is the case in this week's episode of Royal Pains, titled “Lovesick”. 

Facing our main characters Hank and Evan is their strained relationship with their father, Eddie R., who abandoned his sons some 20 years prior. Evan is ready to let bygones be bygones, but Hank needs more time—and perhaps a few more opportunities to throw a right hook. I suspect he’ll have the chance to do just that, as the final shot of the episode finds Eddie R. laying down some roots in the Hamptons in the form of a new relationship with Ms. Newburg.

Ms. Newburg, the wealthy and eccentric recurring character played by the incomparable Christine Ebersole, appears in this episode because her stepdaughter, Blake, shares the honour of being the patient of the week along with married couple Sherry Tanner and husband. I’m pretty sure they haven't identified him by name to this point, so let’s just call him Mr. Tanner and try not to flashback to childhood memories of Full House.

Blake has fallen in love with Jamie, a yoga instructor whose pure and earthly aura finds Blake going to extremes to mimic her lover’s lifestyle. Unfortunately for Blake, this has made her less desirable and driven her beau away. He breaks up with her, via text message (sigh), which lands her in the hospital with broken heart syndrome caused by the stress and anxiety her stepmom puts on her to find the perfect mate. So the takeaways here are a) leave the singletons alone! We’ll find our way; and b) don’t change to be more like your boyfriend. If he’s waking up at 6am to hit the gym, feel free to stay true to yourself and hit that snooze button for another hour or two.

Over to Sherry and Mr. Tanner. They find themselves with questionable rashes that test positive for syphilis. But in a very House-like move, it’s actually Hansen’s Disease, which creates a false-positive syphilis result and is caused by armadillo bites. Turns out Sherry is the only artisan in the belt-making profession that uses armadillo hide and she got a little knick during her last hunting trip.

The remaining storylines belong to Divya and her arranged-marriage fiancé Raj and the ‘will they/won’t they’ nature of Hank and Jill’s relationship. Divya tells Raj about her compatibility concerns (code for, let’s forgo the ban on premarital sex) but Raj thinks she wants a prenup. This issue is later sorted out thanks to proper communication. Hank and Jill find themselves in a compromising position even though they’ve broken up and agree they’re better off as friends.  Their reunion is short lived as they’re quickly rushed back to their jobs, but I bet we continue to revisit this relationship as the season progresses.

So there you have it–lovesickness abounds, in multiple forms. I wonder if next week’s episode title, "Keeping the Faith", promises to give us a patient who refuses medical treatment because of religious beliefs... Only time will tell.