It seems quite obvious to me that at some point about a year and a half ago Jason Eisener, Rob Cotterill and John Davies -- director, producer and writer of Hobo With A Shotgun, respectively -- sat down with a very large bottle of whiskey, got wicked drunk and drafted up a massive list of the most entertaining ways they could possibly think of to kill people accompanied by an equally long list of ridiculous phrases to say to people either immediately before or after doing extreme violence upon them. And every single one of them is in this movie. If you don't like massive explosions of blood and gore then do not watch this movie. If you cannot see the humor in a villain telling a prospective victim that he's about to wash his own blood off using their blood then do not watch this movie. If, however, you enjoy those things, then bingo! This is the movie for you.

The story of how Hobo With A Shotgun came to be is one of those things sure to dominate just about any conversation about the film so let's get it out of the way. When Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino were prepping their Grindhouse double bill Rodriguez threw an online contest in conjunction with the SXSW film festival. Make a trailer for a fake movie, send it in, he would judge them and the winner would be included on the DVD and added to theatrical screenings. Eisener won with a fake trailer for Hobo and the trailer became such an online sensation that Eisener and his team began prepping an actual feature.

And now what began as a fake trailer attached to a double bill of deliberate grindhouse style throwback films not only exists but is both more entertaining and more true to the style than either Death Proof or Planet Terror.

Here's how this one goes. Rutger Hauer stars as the titular Hobo, a wandering vagabond who stumbles into a city known simply -- and appropriately -- as Scum Town. In the grips of the villainous Drake and his degenerate sons, Scum Town is a seething pit of violence and degradation. Just to prove this fact the first thing the Hobo witnesses upon arrival is the Drake gleefully removing the head of his own brother. The Hobo tries to clean things up the right way. He goes to the police. But they're as much in the Drake's pocket as anyone else and he soon realizes that the only option is to take the law into his own hands. The law, of course, coming in the form of a twelve gauge pump action shotgun.

A blazing carnival ride of non-stop blood and gore, it's as though Hobo With A Shotgun exists only to prove to itself and its audience that there is no image or moment so extreme that it cannot be topped. The film pushes ever harder, ever faster, into a non-stop game of one-upmanship with things not stopping until everyone who can be dead is. Now pass me some of that blood -- I've got to wash up.