Manly men doing manly things for men. That's really what you need to know about Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables. For the past couple weeks now I've been focusing on the films releasing August 13th simply because that one day is probably the busiest and best of the summer. We've already covered a pair of the limited releases -- Animal Kingdom and The Disappearance of Alice Creed -- and with the third significant limited release (Mesrine: Killer Instinct) originally slated for the 13th wisely moving later in the month to avoid the competition, it's time to move on to the big boys. The big, burly boys.
Do you like guns? Do you like motorcycles? Do you like muscles? Do you like when things blow up? Then you, sir, will like The Expendables. It's pretty much that simple. Plot, character, and all that stuff is totally secondary, as are the film's flaws of which there are a few. Because at the core what this is is one hundred percent proof positive that Stallone knows and understands his audience like the back of his hand and is smart enough to give them exactly what they want.
The story, for those who want it, goes like this. Stallone is Barney Ross, the leader of a team of mercenaries sent off to do the worst of the worst jobs. When a new job of shady origin -- introduced by Bruce Willis in a forgettable walk-on role that amounts to little more than a publicity stunt in a scene that includes an even more blatant and even more forgettable stunt walk-on by Arnold Schwarzenegger -- sends Ross and his key lieutenant (Jason Statham) off to a remote island to depose a dictator, they decide that this job is too much, even for them. Even if they succeed, they will never live to spend their money. So they walk. But Ross is stricken by conscience and the lingering image of one beautiful young woman, a woman on whose behalf the team will saddle up and kill countless scores of islanders.
On the good side you have Stallone, Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture and Terry Crews with Mickey Rourke playing the wise old mentor and the only guy in the film who gets to act a lick at all. Straddling the line between good and evil is Dolph Lundgren who, bizarrely, never gets the chance to have a one on rematch with Stallone -- a surprising missed opportunity. Firmly on the evil team we have Eric Roberts chewing away on the furnishings, Steve Austin as the ominous thug, and the guy who plays Angel on Dexter as the puppet general commanding a host of faceless cannon fodder.
It's important to note that The Expendables is in no, way shape or form a parody or tongue in cheek version of a 1980s action film. There is no irony here at all and not really any room for nostalgia, which is why the Willis / Schwarzenegger bit sticks out so badly, with the film instead aiming to be a run through all the excess that made those films so popular in the first place. And it succeeds absolutely. Yeah, there are bumps and hiccups along the way but the action is big and burly and hellaciously entertaining. It's a critic proof movie, really, one that exists on its own terms delivered solely for the fans of the genre and not giving a damn whatsoever what anybody else thinks. Happily, I am a fan of the genre and I say bring on the talked-about sequel.