There are three things that really stood out this week, aside from the obvious parade of breasts, sex, drugs and dirty banter.

#1 - Vaginal Rejuvenation
I had to pause, rewind, and double back when I had heard the words “vaginal rejuvenation” uttered by a young female attempting to bed Hank.

For one, who in their right mind would ask a man they only just met if he thinks her “lips down there” are too “floppy” and then proceed to ask if they look like “day old deli meat”? DAY OLD DELI MEAT?!! Seriously? She may have been a porn star, but it's still no wonder why Hank couldn't keep it up. Her crying baby probably didn’t help matters either. Good on Hank for going with his better instincts and telling her to tend to her baby. And extra points for leaving with her porno in hand. (We’re giving Hank two half-checks on our sex tally this week for trying, but failing, to fully close the deal… twice.)

 
But what is this vaginal rejuvenation? Perhaps I’ve been sheltered too long. A man wrote this episode, so I can only wonder what goes on in Hollywood, what book he may be reading or… Maybe this exact moment in the episode played out in his life. I like to think so, anyway.

Hank goes on to try and blog for the online magazine Hell-A, which leads me to the second point that stood out in this episode…

#2 – The Return of Vagina Hair
After his disturbing experience with the porn-star, Hank starts writing for Hell-A and writes:

Hell-A Magazine blog number 1. Hank hates you all. A few things I've learned on my travels through this crazy little thing called life. One, a morning of awkwardness is better than a night of loneliness. Two, I probably won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. And 3, while I'm down there it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I'm not talking about a huge 70's Playboy bush or anything. Just something that reminds me that I'm performing cunnilingus on an adult. But I guess the larger question is why is the city of angels so hell bent on destroying its female population.

I think it’s safe to say that Hank was feeling this way because he was still reeling from having slept with 16-year old Mia. And I second his point about pubic hair. The days of the Brazilian wax -- which leave a woman completely free of hair -- should be over. These things promote a somewhat creepy fantasy of a women with pre-adolescent bodies -- not unlike parts of this show, but more on that later. (In fairness, I do know some women who also prefer to go Brazilian, so I’ll let this argument rest. You be the judge. Or sound off in the comments to prove you’re following along.)

But back to the teenaged minx that inspired all this...

#3 – Mia, a modern-day Lolita?
On the one hand, Mia's sexual interactions with Hank are completely wrong, disturbing and illegal. But on the other hand, Mia is purposely trying to seduce Hank. They even show her rubbing Hank’s groin under the dinner table while sitting down to a “family” dinner with friends. So who's to blame? Well, Hank, of course. But the show delights in its complicated moral territory.

Mia even pokes fun at Hank’s predicament in private, after we see her get out of the pool in a very skimpy bikini, and says “I think they call it statutory rape,” then laughs. She further tries to tell him what they did wasn’t wrong, just a little “fucking and punching” between two consenting adults. But they’re not both adults, of course.

This storyline is interesting, shocking, and daring but frankly makes me a little uncomfortable. Mia makes a perfect Lolita: she’s 16, often appears in low-cut revealing outfits or a bikini, and sometimes comes out of pools in slow motion. Despite actress Madeline Zima being of legal age, we are led to believe otherwise of her character – which is flat out disturbing.

So I ask: is Californication trying to achieve critical acclaim and TV success by putting real and discomforting situations in our faces? Perhaps. Or is this just a sad realistic depiction of today's average male?

Written by Angela Tosse