Adultery went out and got itself a really great PR firm: now re-branded as "sex addiction," it's an uncontrollable affliction that deserves our sympathy, not disgust. Shyeah right. Here's a bunch of dudes (and one chick) that can't keep their pants on, although I, personally, wouldn't touch 'em with a 10-foot-pole. Want to catch more addicts in action? Showcase has got you covered: Pioneer sex addict David Duchovny stars in Californication, Tuesdays at 10pm ET/PT, while Season 2 of Secret Diary of a Call Girl is now airing on Wednesdays at 10pm ET/PT. Slut it up.
5. Bill Clinton
It's a mystery to me that so many women find Mr. Arkansas attractive. Aside from the permanently smug look on his well-fed face, he's just another so-called liberal man who drops all his "equality" platitudes when faced with a pretty girl. Ech.
4. Tiger Woods
So Tiger never wanted to be associated with blackness, then it comes out that he had a "thug" persona in bed with his many makeup-laden mistresses. After spending years willfully ignoring any call to address Nike's politics, he conjures up his dead dad to help them shill more shoes. And oh yeah—text messages and voicemails? How stupid is this guy? Thumbs down.
3. Jesse James
Sandra Bullock has nothing to be ashamed of—we've all fallen prey to some sucker's expert lying and manipulation at one time or another. But ew, a white supremacist? One who's also dumb enough to sext? Dump the mofo already!
2. Pamela Anderson
As noted by, like, everyone, the fact that so many more men than women succumb to the deadly throes of sex addiction makes a thinking woman muse that the whole thing is sexist B.S. That said, if there were a female celebrity role model for the disease, it might be Pammy A. Implants in, implants out. Tommy Lee in, Tommy Lee out. Compare and contrast Pam today to Baywatch Pam. She looks almost wholesome back then, doesn't she?
1. Eliot Spitzer
First of all, obviously he had to pay for it. Look at him. Silda may have stayed by his side, but that's New York power couple ish, not lust. Now, just two years later, Spitzer is back on top of his financial game, with everyone important ignoring his quease-inducing indiscretions. A recap: as the married governor of New York, Spitzer made public vows to crack down on sex workers, all the while secretly dropping thousands on 20-something escorts (including public money for fancy hotel rooms). But who's counting? Sigh. Any way you want to slice it, the rise of "sex addiction" proves it's still a man's man's man's world.