This blog about Facebook was posted on my site on December 7th, 2009. By way of an update, I’m pleased to announce that my social networking on Facebook is going reasonably well. I blather on about nonsense with weighty thoughts like “I wish Lady Ga Ga wasn’t smart” and answer questions that I’ve answered a gazillion times before. So, after years I’m finally in direct contact with the fans, most of whom are terrific, with few exceptions. One of my favorite exceptions is a douche bag Kenny fan who likes to refer to me as a fucktard. He’s so precious. Anyhow, the following blog reflects my tentative early days as I was getting my head around the Facebook experience.
Facebook
Recently it was decided by my manager that after years of cyber-hiding I should have what is called a web presence, which includes this website, Facebook and Twitter. It was, he felt, a smart business decision. Since I haven’t made a smart business decision since the mid-nineties, I reluctantly agreed. My first go-round on Facebook lasted about 3 days before I closed my account. I feel that I owe an explanation to the approximately 300 people, who in that short period became “friends”. During that initial stint I made the acquaintance of a stalker, an ex-girlfriend, some Spenny-haters, some fans and a woman I never heard of who claimed we had had a relationship. Had I known this would happen, I would have stocked up on Atavan before activating the account. I have a feeling that being on television makes the Facebook experience a tad more intense. Participating in KVS has put me in some bizarre situations both on and off screen. My least favorite off screen incident was at a Nickelback CD release party earlier this year when a Neanderthal Kenny fan thought it whimsical to literally scream non-stop for ten minutes that I’m a loser and gay. Okay, calling me a loser is somewhat subjective, and possibly partially true, but I’m definitely not gay. Sometimes I wish I was, but I digress. Please understand that I’m not complaining. I’ve brought the potential of these kinds of attacks upon myself by choosing of free will and partially sound mind to participate in KVS. In the end, I have no one but myself to blame. Accepting responsibility for my decisions is important to me, but that doesn’t preclude me from occasionally bitching about stuff on my blog. As such, on Facebook, I generally respond to the fucktard crowd, but I feel it’s important but hit the remove button when the haters sink to the level blatant hate speech. Other than that… bring it on.
I have, in the past, at least initially, resisted every new form of technology. Almost everyone I knew had answering machines and cell phones before I did. Even the metric system still pisses me off. I love my BlackBerry, but I must admit that it has taken over my life to a degree that I find troubling. Ironically, it’s the same manager who pushed Facebook on me that privately fantasizes about a time long since past where the telegram was all you had to account for yourself:
I’m off to Europe (stop). Be back in 2 weeks (stop).
Love Spenny
Those were the days, my friends.
Beyond my issues with technology, I don’t possess a personality that lends itself to the Facebook culture. I’m shy and socially awkward. If it wasn’t for vodka, I don’t think I’d ever leave the house. I’m also very paranoid. What I do like about Facebook is being able to write. I love writing. As previously mentioned, my three-day stint on Facebook put me in touch with a woman claiming to be a former lover, who I’m fairly certain I’ve never heard of. A one night stand, maybe… but a relationship!?! That would be one hell of a black-out. That kind of cyber mind-fucking only fuels my already high-octane paranoia. My life has plenty of drama without adding fictitious Facebook delusionary relationships. I also started to worry about past sins coming back to haunt me… I break-out in a rash just thinking about it. And on top of all that, there would be the inevitable onslaught of the homophobic, hate-speechin’ Spenny-detractors, who I generally find amusing, but combined with phantom relationships, and who knows what other insanity, could end up with me drooling in a psyche ward asking for my Snuggie. And by the way, how could anybody seriously be anti-Snuggie?
I’m being very careful not to slam social networking sites, because, like the space shuttle, I think they’re very cool… but that doesn’t mean I want to ride on one. That said, I’m a professional, and will try to do what’s right for my career. Oh yeah, while I’m blogging, I might as well bitch about Twitter. The thing that bugs me about Twitter is that it only allows for a tiny amount of text, which unless you’re Oscar Wilde, tends to limit profundity. So, if anyone is interested in more than self-centered blurbs, you’ll have to come to my website and read my wordy blogs. Alternatively, I will be on Facebook -- my profile page is here.
Trying to fit into the Internet phenomenon I’ve been avoiding for years.
ttyl.
Spenny