Hot, hot, hot off the presses is Planned Parenthood's new Toronto Teen sex survey. Before we get into all the salacious details — like that 7% of under-18s are hitting it anally — let's have a brief moment of respect for Planned Parenthood and all the great work that the organization has done over the years, especially in the light of the recent shooting of abortion doctor George Tiller. Sexual health information and services weren't always this accessible, even in Canada, so big ups, PP. We salute you.

OK, moving on to the deets, let's start with the good news. The good news is that when the 37% of teens who reported "having sex" were asked for more details, 60% reported having had oral. As sex advice god Dan Savage always says, getting kids (and adults) to realize that there are many, many ways to have "sex" is a good way to decrease STDs and unwanted pregnancies, and up sexual pleasure for everyone. Also good is that 97% of Canadian-born youth said they'd had decent sex ed by the age of 18. Best of all is that when asked what they wanted to learn about, sexual pleasure was one of the top three answers.

But, of course, there's lots to be worried about. The rates of STDs like chlamydia are going up.  The majority of newcomer youth, plus 13% of all boys and 8% of all girls say they've never got any sexual health info, from anyone, ever. And, sadly, only 21% of kids report masturbating at all. Things got to get better on that front, soon.

In the good news/bad news department, a third of the teens who responded said they'd like to learn about healthy relationships. Now, there are a lot of unhealthy relationships for teens to learn about, like Lindsay and Samantha, Miley Cyrus and her sleeping-over 20-year-old boyfriend (although maybe they're broken up) and, of course, those famous-for-nothing drama queens from The Hills (pictured). (Remember when Spencer started a rumour about Lauren and Jason's sex tape? Which ruined Heidi and Lauren's friendship? And now Spencer and Heidi are married? And since then he's been creepy and controlling at her Playboy shoot?) Plus, of course, sex ed classes at public schools are always under fire—Alberta's recently passed Bill 44 allows parents to take their kids out of classes that mention sex or homosexuality, even though information about your own health and body is a human right.

So, considering how messed up this world is about sex, it would be easy for teenagers to throw in the towel and just have messed up sex lives forever. Asking for information on healthy relationships is awesome — it shows our young peeps have got confidence and self-esteem. Good luck, I say. My advice is: go to it, but safely, and there is honestly no need to rush. There's plenty of booty in your future, I promise.