Hip hop happy Friday!

You woke up this morning, gave a big yawn, and said to yourself: “Man, I wish Reginald T. Vampire would drill my grill with some trill trivia thrills.”  You totally, totally said that.

YOU: That is the dumbest thing ever.  Why on earth would I…
ME: Stop it, alright?  Just stop it.  You said what I said you said.  And I'm giving you what you wished for, so let's not split hairs here.  Seriously.

FACT: Star Trek isn’t just for virgins anymore.

Quite to the contrary, Star Trek is now officially for super-awesome-cool-guys.  It is my understanding that the film is an elaborate reboot of the Harold and Kumar franchise, but I could be mistaken.  The trailer will blow your mind.

FACT: Michael Jackson isn’t going away.

Michael had an eventful week.  First all his shit goes up for sale, then he announces a concert series in London, then he decides to sue the company that’s selling all his shit.  I don’t think there’s a single joke that I could use in this situation that would not be completely inappropriate.  Well done MJ, your whole life gets an NSFW.

FACT: Chris Bosh is on Twitter

Not only does Bosh have the juiciest jumper in town, he’s also got the freshest Twitter feed.  To whit:

“I just saw Taken. It was.... Aight. Not bad, but not that good.”

“Getting hot in the dessert. (No pun intended)”

“The Pink Taco was crunk. Now I'm about to find out where the best party is.”

Amazing.  He also has a blog.  And yes, he reviews the book version of Twilight.

FACT: This will be the best 7 seconds of your day.

While I’m not generally a fan of the whole FAIL meme, I must admit that it is entirely appropriate in this instance.  I don’t think it is possible to do the C-Walk worse than this.

FACT: Vampires are deeply misunderstood.

They found a vampire, thought to be the first, in Venice this week.  They knew she was a vampire because she was found buried with a brick in her mouth.  In the Middle Ages it was believed that vampires infected people by chewing their shrouds after dying, and thus would be buried with bricks in their mouths to prevent them from snacking any other deadsters and spreading their vampirical seed.  Once buried with the brick in place, a diminished bloodsucker would be referred to as a “vampire weakened.”  This is not, however, the origin of the band Vampire Weekend’s name, as I made that last part up.

Have a great weakened!
RTV