Happy new year, sluts and hos, I hope you had good holidays. It's New Year's resolution time and along with exercising more, drinking less and being generally nicer, your playtime might also be at stake. I, for one, am apparently a sex addict. According to this online test, I've got a problem with preoccupation—"obsessive thinking about sexual behaviour, opportunities and fantasies." While self-diagnosing with online psych tests is always a good idea, some of the questions on this quiz are so broad one might find them irrelevant. For example: "have you subscribed to or regularly purchased or rented sexually explicit materials (magazines, videos, books or online pornography)?" Well duh, I don't get paid otherwise (sorry if you thought I was doing this ’cause I liked you).

Like anyone, I've known people that were sluts in the not-good way. The way where they were liars, or cheaters, or cheating liars. People with an inexplicable fondness for dating absolute losers and a-holes. I've known people so obsessed with looking hot they never realized that they kinda just looked really tacky.  But still, the term "sex addiction" just seemed like a way to evade existing labels, like low self-esteem or narcissism. Basically, I thought if these people liked themselves more, they might stop dating jerks and start dressing appropriately for the weather.

Especially since, after the David Duchovny scandal, it seemed like everyone was using sex addiction to justify their acting out. Bill Clinton? Sure, but the lying narcissist thing covers him. Britney Spears? That thing where her mom made her lie about being a virgin might be a contributing factor. This one dude I know who rang up a $1200 online porn bill before telling his wife? Let's just call him "a big jerk."

Sex addiction isn't listed in the holy book of crazy, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and there's controversy as to whether it's truly an addiction, like alcoholism, or a compulsion, like flicking the light switch on and off 12 times before leaving the room. But I lost some of my snide attitude when I read this memoir which details the endless wrestling with uncontrollable urges of a wannabe reformed sexaholic. He's really sad, about his losses, and really sorry, about hurting people. I guess it's true that sex makes you feel attractive and powerful, and there's an obvious payoff at the end. Why wouldn't that be addictive?

Sigh. Is anything fun anymore? Ah well, they're still paying me...so pass the porn.