All is right with the world. Randy and I are sitting on a little nest egg – thanks to our little foray into the world of dance and entertainment. The park is sweet serenity. That’s because all the bottom feeders got caught in my lobster-pot-shit-trap and they’re simmering in the soup at Con College. Dumb as fuck. I knew it would happen. The liquor came through for me. I’m at the top of my game and every day is a celebration – truth reigns victorious over the forces of anarchy. The shit-mist as lifted. Sunnyvale is basking in the warm sunlight of possibility.

I am a truly lucky man. Opportunity has knocked many times for me.  It’s knocking now – A voice is calling to me “Jim”, it says, “You’ve got to get off the liquor. This is your time; your destiny; a chance to be a true hero and bet he ripple that starts a wave of peace and prosperity that will engulf the world like a shitnami”.

I know that’s the hype of my beautiful liquor buzz but even if it is, I can see clearer now than I have for years and I know what I have to do.  In fact, I’ve already started.  I’m working on changing Sunnyvale’s image.  It’s taken a shit kicking these last couple a years.  I got an injunction against the video documentary crew and kicked them out of the park today.  They have done everything in their power to mock my authority and titillate shit weasels all over the world.

Mike C., the director was all over me trying to make friends. He even showed me some tape of the boys in jail trying to intimidate me with threats and bullshit. I’m a trained professional. I don’t scare easily. This ploy by Clattenburg is a perfect example of how the media likes to stir things up. They’re always trying to portray me as a drunken idiot. They try to make the bad guys look cool. They even managed to make Bubbles look cute. Yeah cute as a shit marmot and twice as stinky, anything that can make Ray look like a paragon on Christian piety has to be truly fucked. Julian is the only fairly depicted person in the park. They’ve never been able to strip him of his dignity. It’s as natural to him as his good looks and great body.

Usually birds of a shit feather flock together but Julian and Ricky are like the Yin and Yang – as different as night and day. If it wasn’t for Ricky, I think Julian and I would’ve gotten along just great.  It’s too bad because Julian has a lot of potential.

I’d like to propose a toast!!!... To community!  To co-operation!  To the future!  I am going to make a solemn pledge.  This is my last drink. When this forty ouncer’s finished, that’s it. No more liquor. Ever!  Well, at least until I’ve rebuilt Sunnyvale and established a bastion that can withstand the shit-winds of circumstance.  I will have friends and neighbours that will appreciate what I have accomplished and they will know me for what I am – a hard working and sympathetic Trailer Park Supervisor.

Yours Truly,



-Jim Lahey, Park Supervisor.