It’s October, and so I'm still doing terrifying, ghastly posts of spooky, sexy fun. This week, let’s take a look at some celebs whose certifiable smoking hotness won’t be featured in
People’s most beautiful list this year. Why? Because they’re dead.
10.Paul Newman: the eyes, the lips, the bod. The acting skills, the race car driving, the politics, the philanthropy and hey, the salad dressing too. The final word on fidelity, in regards to his long, long marriage to Joanne Woodward: "I have steak at home. Why would I go out for hamburger?"
9. Anna Nicole Smith: what a tragedy, to waste that God-given rack on gold-digging, prescription drugs and Larry Birkhead. Rest in sexy peace, Anna Nicole.
8. Bettie Page: an obvious choice. Although she eventually found Jesus and renounced her BDSM career, Page will always have a sinister All Hallow’s edge.
7. Tupac: only if he was a ghost without a voice and I could enjoy his pretty eyes without the obnoxious attitude.
6. Gia. She was a supermodel, she was a lesbian, she was a heroin addict, she got HIV, she died. Angelina Jolie starred in an HBO film about her and Angie's mad hot too, but Gia's dead so she makes this list.
5. Bob Marley: breathtaking bone structure and scandalously virile, begetting 13 known children.
4. Kurt Cobain: the sensitive sexy dead guy. Another one with girly eyes, but he’d definitely be allowed to woo me with his deep, otherworldly words.
3.Heath Ledger: I really don’t see what Alma was complaining about in Brokeback Mountain. I’d let Ledger’s Ennis Del Mar hit it from the back anytime he wanted, and Jake Gyllenhaal’s Jack Twist would be more than welcome to join in.
2. Diana, Princess of Wales: classic beauty who wasted her youth on an ugly, ungrateful mofo. Here’s hoping she and Dodi are getting freaky in the next life.
1. Pierre Trudeau: the clear winner, our 15th Prime Minister is both deceased and the champion of the ugly sexy game. He looks like Mr. Burns, and yet he romanced his hot wife Margaret and continues to entrance generations of Canadian women. Well done, sir.