The government keeps slashing arts grants, hiding their homophobia and old-fashioned prissiness behind code words like “offensive” and “appropriate.” Funny, I thought this was a free country where we get to form our own opinions and have our own discussions, rather than have someone else decide for us. As a tribute to the parliamentary sausage party, I’ve put together a fun little playlist for your next roadtrip or stoner gathering, a tribute to courageous crooners who don’t mince words. These songs about cock are dedicated to the dicks that censor Canadian content. Enjoy.

My Ding-a-ling, Chuck Berry



Who knew this was his only #1 American hit? Like Mr. Berry says in his lead-in, there's nothing wrong with sex, it's how you handle it is all.

Cock Rock Song, Hank Williams Sr.



Celebrating a serious bender, Hank asks "Don't you wanna rock me baby, need another line/Don't you wanna suck my dick and make me feel so fine." And this man is a country music icon? How inappropriate.













Travelling Riverside Blues/The Lemon Song, Led Zeppelin



Some say that to squeeze a lemon is to play a serious, soul-burning lick. But would that really, as the lyrics of both these songs claim, make juice run down one's leg?

My Dick, Mickey Avalon



Mickey Avalon really has the sexy-ugly thing going on. It doesn't hurt that he's got a dick like Jesus.

Smell Yo Dick, Riskay
























I kind of don't get this one. Like, ok obv you're checking to see if his dick smells like OPP. But that's gross and if this is what you resort to after you should move on anyway. Also, what if it smells like soap? Are you more suspicious, or glad you have such a clean boyfriend?

Cock in my Pocket, Iggy Pop



"I just wanna fuck/This ain't no romance." Well alright Iggy, tell it like it is. And who wouldn't want to get with a fine piece of ass such as yourself?














Come on Show me Your Penis, Le Sport



Very sad that I can't find the full video of this online. Very sad that Le Sport has broken up.

Big Balls, AC/DC



Don't neglect foreplay, kids.

Rough Justice, Rolling Stones



Possibly my Googling is just off today, but I find it surprising that the brief lyric in the first bit of this song is the only Rolling Stones reference to cock or dick.

Stuff Me Up, Peaches



Where is Peaches these days anyway? That sequinned niqab on the cover of "Impeach My Bush" was so ahead of its time.