Dear Blog-Heads,

There are certain things in life that are inherently happy.  These things include dancing, music, beautiful landscapes and laughing children.  It is quite a feat, then, that Matt Harding released a video today containing all these things, and it only makes me want to punch him in the face.  The clip documents his world travels, and shows him dancing with groups of people in various locations around the world.  It is his third such video, and being sponsored by a gum company means he gets paid to produce these things.  And yes, I think he’s a penis.

YOU: Shut up, penis, you’re the penis!
ME:  Hey, chill out penis.  I can explain.

Reason #1 for Being Mean About a Sweet, Harmless Dancing Video

Imagine you went to Dairy Queen and ordered a Blizzard with every possible sweet topping in it, and used pure sugar instead of ice-cream.  That’s what this video is: so sweet it will make you puke in the car.

Reason #2 for Being Mean About a Sweet, Harmless Dancing Video

Dude’s been doing this since 2005, with zero innovation to his game whatsoever.  He got people to dance with him this time.  Bravo.  How about learning some new moves?  Or dressing up in traditional regional garb?  Or letting me make the videos for you?  Or at least sending me some free gum?  Selfish.

Reason #3 for Being Mean About a Sweet, Harmless Dancing Video

To quote myself, at the age of six: “U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you UGLY!”

I know it’s not nice, but it’s true.  Ugly people are frustrating to look at.

---------------------

There you have it.  Watch the clip here, and tell me I’m a crusty crank in the comments below.

Happy Friday!
Reggie