If you’re like me (and if you’re not, you might want to get on that), the end of The Wire has left a gaping, pain-soaked hole in your psyche.  To make it worse, the cast has started popping up in decidedly un-Wire-like roles, as if trying to prove that the show is truly over for good.

Every time I see one of them I feel like shouting at my TV: “Go back to Baltimore, you bastard!”  And then I shout at my TV: “Go back to Baltimore, you bastard!”  Only I’m crying when I shout it.

Here's where they can be found now.  And spoiler alert if you haven't watched all five seasons. 

Michael Kostroff (Maury Levy): This one’s no big shocker – Levy likes Arby’s.  What I want to know is where Herc is when these dick wads are busting his boss’s chops?  He should be breaking someone’s face with his hands and feet.

Domenick Lombardozzi (Herc): Of course, Herc may have started this whole disturbing phenomenon with his 2006 appearance on Entourage.  The good news is he only has a couple of crappy TV gigs lined up, so we won’t be seeing much of him.  That’s what you get for selling out the Eastern.

Julito McCullum (Namond Brice):  Good god.  If you haven’t heard this, and The Wire is important to you, you might want to just skip it.  Honestly, it’s scarring.  It’s Namond, looking worse than a post-Maguire Lipnicki, rapping about story lines from the show.  Sheesh.

Lance Reddick (Daniels): Sure, he landed on a decent show with Lost, but that doesn’t make it any easier.  Seeing Daniels play the mega-creepy Matthew Abbadon is like the first time you saw your dad get drunk.  You still love him, and respect him, but Lance Reddick is a person too.

Tristan Wilds (Michael Lee):  The Jay-Z video was dope, but his next appearance is going to blow your mind.  Tristan has been cast in the new 90210.  I shuddered three times while writing that sentence.  Will this irrevocably change the way I remember The Wire?  Absolutely.  Will I still watch 90210?  Absolutely.  Tori Spelling’s involved.

Happy weekend!
RTV