Oh, sweet lord.  This just isn't fair.  I've got to write this post while fetching samurai bikini cowboy girl glances over her shoulder at me and you must agree that that's pretty damn distracting. Hello, samurai bikini cowboy girl ...

People all over the world like to poke fun at Uwe Boll because he makes bad movies.  At this stage of his career I think that point must be simply acknowledged as truth.  But I want to suggest a little something here, I would like to suggest that the good doctor's movies don't fail because they're no good but that they fail because they're no fun.

Case in point: samurai girl to the left.  She's the star of Onechanbara, the live action adaptation of the video game of the same name, a game that is nothing but pure adolescent wish fulfillment of the "hot chick with samurai sword wearing a bikini while killing zombies" variety.  You can see the trailer here - and hot damn does it ever look fun and I'll be at the front of the line should I ever get the chance to see it.  Thus we can conclude that the Japanese are better than the Germans when it comes to adapting video games to film.

How do we move from the Japanese being better than the Germans to the Japanese being better than bloody well everyone else.  I humbly submit the trailer for the aptly titled Tokyo Gore Police. It's the latest from the creative team behind The Machine Girl and it's got more severed limbs, arterial blood sprays and bizarre mutants per minute than should be allowed by law.  Take that Sweden!  Take that Peru!  Aint nobody does ridiculous gore better than Japan.  End of argument.