Me.  Varsity 4.  9:30 this morning.  The Babysitters.  Time to leave it all on the court.

It’s my final review of the fest, and I’m primed: Notebook in hand, pen, spare pen, second spare pen, pencil if I get bored of using pen, mechanical pencil if my original pencil gets dull, pencil sharpener so I can sharpen the original, more traditionally styled pencil in the event that my mechanical pencil runs into what you could only describe as ‘mechanical difficulties’.  My mind is like a robot from the future sent to destroy evil by writing insightful film critiques.

And then in he walks.  The legend: Roger Ebert.  This is like getting Schwarzenegger to spot me on the bench press.  I can feel my razor-sharp powers of perception melting away in the presence of such an editorial god.  But he is a gentle god, and I am steeled by his divine wisdom of celluloid criticism.  I can feel his energy fill me, and it is then that I know that this will truly be:

THE BEST REVIEW OF THE BABYSITTERS EVER WRITTEN IN HISTORY

Words By: Reggie the Vampire.
Spiritual Inspiration and Guidance By: Roger Ebert.

It is with great authority that I present you with the definitive take on David Ross’ directorial debut, The Babysitters.  As you haven’t seen this film, you would probably not know if you like it or not.  I will tell you if you should like it or not: Like it.

This fantastic film follows (alliteration) high-school junior Shirley as she finds herself becoming sexually attracted to the man whose children she baby-sits.  I don’t want to say if they hook up or not, because I don’t want to ruin it by saying they hook up, but they do.  He then pays her a fat tip because he feels guilty and doesn’t want her to tell her parents or anything.  She recognizes the opportunity to make some extra ducats, and before long starts up a prostitution ring consisting of her high-school friends servicing the horn-dog men of their town.  To allude to another film with similar themes, that sounds like some Risky Business!

But what about the directing of the movie?  Was it good directing?  Yes it was!  David Ross does an impressive job in his first outing, taking his own excellent script and holding a note of black comedy through several scenes than could have pulled things into major depresso territory.  The acting was also excellent, with a particularly strong turn from young Katherine Waterston as ring-leader Shirley.  Not sure how old Katherine is, but she plays a high-school junior and takes her shirt off!  That part was uncomfortable!

In conclusion, The Babysitters is a great movie and one of the better ones that Roger Ebert and I watched together at this year’s festival.  It was funny and thoughtful, and David Ross is a talent to be watched.  If you have children, I would recommend hiring a babysitter when this movie comes out in theatres, so that you can go and see it.  Just don’t try to pay her for sex after driving her home – as you’ll learn from this film, it’s probably not a good idea!

THE END

Phew.  I don’t want to toot my own flute, but I basically just nailed that review to the wall.  Looks like somebody saved the best for last (me).

Thanks Roger, see you at Sundance!
Reggie.