Good day, readership,
Here’s a hypothetical: Say I’m at a party, partying with some people that are much cooler than me (I know it’s impossible to imagine, that’s why it’s called a hypothetical) and I want to seem cooler than I really am to impress these cool partyers. What do I do? I use big words that I don’t actually understand. Like hypothetical.
Recently I’ve been taking this little gambit (see?) to the next level. Not only do I use words I don’t understand, but I’ve gotten into words that aren’t actually in use in the English language. What up now?
To source these fabulous flosculations I’ve been spending a good deal of time at The Phrontistery, the source of all English no longer in use. While the site won’t help you with pronunciation, it will help you with getting laid! Hi-Yo!
Some examples:
secability
n 1842 -1842
What it means: capability of being cut
How you should use it: The limited secability of Kevlar makes it an ideal material for modern armour.
How I use it: I tried out for the varsity archery squad, but I’m feeling a touch of secability.
tetanothrum
n 1519 -1823
What it means: cosmetic for removing wrinkles
How you should use it: The proliferation of tetanothrums reflects the concerns of aging baby boomers.
How I use it: For an old-timey knock-knock joke, like so:
Audience: Knock knock!
You: Who’s there?
Audience: A wrinkle in time!
You: I thought I killed you by applying tetanothrum!
Audience: We love you so much!
You: I know you do!
surgation
n 1688 -1688
What it means: erection of the penis
How you should use it: His surgation caused him embarassment when he had to speak in front of the class.
How I use it: Somebody had a very noteworthy boner in 1688.
amandation
n 1656 -1755
What it means: act of sending away or dismissing
How you should use it: His rude amandation of his guests earned him a reputation for curtness.
How I use it: I gave that damn Amanda’s man Adam a demanding amandation.
Hope those help. I’m no Shakespeare, but I hope you got your words worth.
Yessssssssssss,
Reggie.