With the lone exception of Wikipedia, it’s pretty safe to say the internet’s completely full of crap.  From the blogosphere to Facebook, the world wide web has become little more than an orgy of opinions.  And opinions are like assholes – they have poor social skills.

To cut through the mundanity of your usual browsing experience, this Friday I thought I’d drop another fact blast on you.  We’re talking some airtight, bullet-proof, shingle-your-house-with-this shit.  Get ready for some truth bombs:

FACT #1: Zach Galifianakis is Funnier Than You

Alright, don’t get all bent out of shape about it, he’s funnier than me too (no he’s not).  The same comedian that threw down this Fiona Apple video and got really awkward on Ellen has shown up in the new Kanye West video.  It’s killer.  Read more about their delicious union here.  FACT!

FACT #2: YouTube Has Lots of (or at Least Two Pieces of) Slamming Content

So Google swallowed up YouTube like a thief in the night and everybody started suing their ass and making them pull down all the licensed content.  Now people are all ragging on YouTube like:

PEOPLE: YouTube’s jumped the shark, yo, they content got mad weak, son!

Well here’s what I have to say to people:

ME: You trippin!

This adorable little fellow is all the proof I need that YouTube is still bringing the heat.  Not satisfied?  Then perhaps you need to Walk It Out.  If that doesn’t make you happy, you’d better check your pulse.  FACT!

FACT #3:  My Fashion Sense is Off the Chain

Here’s the thing, the green button-down and Michael-Jacksonesque medallion I’m rocking in my profile pic (above) really don’t do justice to my impeccable fashion sense.  It’s like, satire or something.  The truth of the matter is that I am an embarrassingly good dresser, and am reinventing the state of fashion on an almost daily basis.

Seems a bit much, right?  Sound like opinion?  Think again.  Just yesterday, for example, I was given a ladies hairclip, which I immediately clipped across my shoe (see pic) in a move I’m calling ‘Shoe Grillz.’  Immediate effects were wildly enhanced sexual proclivity, a higher IQ and better breath.  I’ll keep you posted as the situation develops.  FACT!

That last one didn’t have anything to do with the internet, but truth is truth (God taught me that).

Many thanks to CosManda for the slick new logo, and happy normal-sized weekend!
R-Train.