Did you realize that if you popped the universe out of its universe-hole and then tried to stick it back in, it wouldn’t fit? That’s because, according to the
Big Bang theory, the universe is getting bigger and bigger. If you wanted to get it back in its universe hole you’d have to grease it up with Vaseline (or syrup if you’re in prison) and give it a sound pounding. The universe is a freak like that.
The problem with the Big Banger, however, and the idea that the universe exploded out of nothing 14 billion years ago, is that it begs the question of what came before it, and what could possibly come after. Paul J. Steinhardt and Neil Turok have set out to answer these questions in their new book
Endless Universe: Beyond the Big Bang, and they started with a radical overhaul of the Big Bang’s assertions, instead theorizing about a cyclical system of universal evolution known as
ekpyrosis.
YOU: Ekpyrosis? What’s wrong with these idiots?
ME: I know, it sounds insane, but they actually explain it really…
YOU: How could they know what happened before the Big Banger? What, did they
go there?
ME: Oh, yeah, right. They went back in time. That’s the ticket.
YOU: Well what happened then! How could they possibly know this shit? It’s making me feel scared and naked!
Alright, seriously, get a grip. They know about this stuff because they are
scientists, and they are
very, very smart. It seems the Big Bang theory has a number of sizable holes in it, which has historically forced cosmologists to bend what they know to fit what they think. Without this encumbrance, Steinhardt and Turok go on to clarify concepts like dark matter and dark energy, and present a challenging and exciting alternative to the Big Bang.
They also manage to explain it all in relatively simple terms, giving those with a limited understanding of cosmology (like you) (and me) a peek into the most progressive evolutionary theory out there.
You can buy
Endless Universe at Random House
here, and have a great weekend!
Forever rhyming with veggie,
Reggie.