Watching Grindhouse is the cinematic equivalent of getting your fingers bitten off by a zombie: it takes a little longer than expected, but is still super-enjoyable.    Ironic, then, that Robert Rodriguez put this very finger-feasting scenario into his feature Planet Terror.   His zombie-fest is the first of two flicks that make up the Grindhouse double-bill: a blood-soaked love letter to seedy 70’s exploitation flicks from Rodriguez and co-auteur Quentin Tarantino.

For his half of the two-pack, Rodriguez delivers one of the most solid, over-the top, tongue in cheek, blood-bursting zombie movies I’ve ever seen.  It’s totally hilarious and revolting and ridiculous and awesome and sick and sickly cool all at once.  I shouted three times in the movie, due to over-excitement.  The first time I shouted, “Holy shit!” and the second time I shouted, “Haha!”  The third time I shouted, “Holy shit!” again, which might seem like overkill since I shouted the same thing on my first shout, but believe me, it was the right thing to do.

Then Planet Terror ended and I went to the washroom (already two hours, a bucket of Coke and box of Milk Duds into my Grindhouse experience) and had the following conversation with my friend Clance*:

Clance:  That was amazing, hey?
Me:  Yes, friend, it was.
Clance:  Kind of crazy we have another whole movie to watch though, hey?
Me:  Umm, it would be normally, if the second movie wasn’t made by Quentin Tie-round-tin-yop, and guaranteed to kick all kinds of ass.
Clance:  Oh yeah, right.

Problem was, Death Proof didn’t kick all kinds of ass.  It kicked several, including the super-cool-car-chase ass, and the surprisingly-funny-Kurt-Russell-performance ass, but missed the mark considerably on the engaging ass and the don’t-have-ten-minute-dialogue-scenes-in-your-movie-if-the-dialogue-is-all-really-crappy-and-boring ass.  That's two pretty big asses.

Overall though, the Grindhouse experience was hard to beat.  The two features were interspersed with fake trailers, the most memorable for the slasher flick Thanksgiving put together by Eli Roth (Hostel, Cabin Fever) and the whole thing comes off amazingly unique and authentic, and a hell of a lot of fun.

Planet Terror: 9 out of 10
Death Proof:  4 out of 10
Grindhouse:  8 out of 10 (and two “Holy shit!”s)

* Some names have been changed to protect select movie-goers.