As if I was waiting until Q4 2007 to get my hands on an iPhone.  Sorry Jobs, it’s not happening.  So I went here and printed off my very own iPhone, switched over my mobile subscriber and boom, welcome to the future.  The woman at Rogers called me an idiot, and I was all like whatever!!!

Let me be the first to tell you that this thing delivers. It has all the bells and whistles advertised by Apple, and it has already made me eight to ten percent more popular around the office.  Party at my place!

Among its many features are:









Talking:  While this is a basic feature of most telephones, the iPhone expands your vocabulary by 700 words and enables you to sound almost exactly like Sean Connery.  “You’re the man now, dog!”










Watching TV:  The iPhone is bringing TV out of the living room and into the party.  Now you can watch TV while grocery shopping, driving your car, or while doing your job.











Listening to Tunes:  Do you like to dance?  No?  Well that’s highly unfortunate because once you plug this thing into your ears you’ll be involuntarily boogying down to Burt Bacharach’s version of What’s New Pussycat?, which comes preloaded on all iPhones.







Taking Pictures:  The iPhone is truly a breakthrough in sharing your experiences.  Say you’re on vacation in Mexico.  You can take a photo with the iPhone, email it to a friend who then prints off the photo on her iPhone, then faxes it to your parents using a fax machine that is not in fact built into the iPhone but is connected to the internet using the iPhone’s Wi-Fi connection.  Futurish!




Email:  So you’ve got a blackberry, and you think you’re all that.  You’re like:  “I can send an email from the bathtub” and, “I can send an email from the discotheque”.  Well ask yourself this:  Can you send an email in your sleep?  Didn’t think so.

Why wait?  Print yours off and get rocking today!